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70 things we’ve learned from the movies

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. 2) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 3) The ventilation system...

Stages of Life

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 beer 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for...


Strange Questions

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why...

Weihnachtsgedicht auf Englisch

When the snow falls wunderbar And the children happy are, When the Glatteis on the street, And we all a Glühwein need, Then you know, es ist soweit: She is here, the Weihnachtszeit Every Parkhaus ist besetzt, Weil die people fahren jetzt All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt, Kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt. Shopping...

Das Weihnachtsgedicht

When the last Kalender-sheets flattern trough the winter-streets and Dezemberwind is blowing, then ist everybody knowing that it is not allzuweit: she does come – the Weihnachtszeit. All the Menschen, Leute, people flippen out of ihr warm Stueble, run to Kaufhof, Aldi, Mess, make Konsum and business. Kaufen this und...

Rotläppchen auf englisch – The little Girl and the Wolf

One afternoon a big wolf waited in a dark forest for a little girl to come along carrying a basket of food to her grandmother. Finally a little girl did come along and she was carrying a basket of food. „Are you carrying the basket to your grandmother?“ asked the...