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If you don’t laugh at the end of reading this then there’s something wrong with
you… Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.
Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The
DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called
„Mate Match“. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or
seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers „yes“, he or she
is then asked 3 random yet highly personal qüstions. The person is also asked
to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If
their partner answers those same three qüstions correctly, they both win
the prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders
drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard
yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:

DJ: „Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of ‚MateMatch‘?“
Contestant: (laughing) „Yes, I have.“
DJ: „Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if you
win. What is your name? First only please.“
Contestant: „Brian.“
DJ: „Brian, are you married or what?“
Brian: „Yes.“
DJ: „Yes? Dös that mean you’re married or you’re what?“
Brian: (laughing nervously) „Yes, I am married.“
DJ: „Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.“
Brian: „Sara.“
DJ: „Is Sara at work, Brian?“
Brian: „She is gonna kill me.“
DJ: „Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?“
Brian: (laughing) „Yes, she’s at work.“
DJ: „Okay, first qüstion – when was the last time you had sex?“
Brian: „She is gonna kill me.“
DJ: „Brian! Stay with me here!“
Brian: „About 8 o’clock this morning.“
DJ: „Atta boy, Brian.“
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) „Well…“
DJ: „Qüstion #2 – How long did it last?“
Brian: „About 10 minutes.“
DJ: „Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a
trip wasn’t at stake.“
Brian: „Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.“
DJ: „Okay. Final qüstion. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock this morning?“
Brian: (laughing hard) „I, ummm, I, well…“
DJ: „This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?“
Brian: „Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a
couple of weeks…“
DJ: „Uh huh…“
Brian: „…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.“
DJ: „Atta boy, Brian.“
Brian: „On the kitchen table.“
DJ: „Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times
I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work
number and call her up. You listen to this.“
3 minutes of commercials follow.
DJ: „Okay audience, let’s call Sarah, shall we?“ (touch tones…..ringing….)
Clerk: „Kinkos.“
DJ: „Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?“
Clerk: „This is she.“
DJ: „Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and
I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.“
Sarah: (laughing) „A couple of hours?“
DJ: „Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give
any answers away or you’ll lose.
Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‚MateMatch‘?“
Sarah: „No.“
DJ: „Good!“
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) „Brian, what the hell are you up to?“
Brian (laughing) „Just answer his qüstions honestly, okay? Be completely
honest.“
DJ: „Yeah yeah yeah. Sure.. Now, I will ask you 3 qüstions, Sarah. If your
answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando,
Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic’s game.
The whole deal. Get it Sarah?“
Sarah: (laughing) „Yes.“
DJ: „Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?“
Sarah: „Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.“
DJ: „What time?“
Sarah: „Around 8 this morning.“
DJ: „Very good. Next qüstion. How long did it last?“
Sarah: „12, 15 minutes maybe.“
DJ: „Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood.
We’ve got one last qüstion, Sarah. You are one qüstion away from a trip to
Florida. Are you ready?“
Sarah: (laughing) „Yes.“
DJ: „Where did you have it?“
Sarah: „OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that, did you?“
Brian: „Just tell him, honey.“
DJ: „What is bothering you so much, Sarah?“
Sarah: „Well, it’s just that my mom is vacationing with us and…“
DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?
Sarah: „In the ass…..“
After a long pause, the DJ said, „Folks, we need to take a station break“