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Lustige Texte englisch

Der Präsident George W. Bush trifft Sicherheitsberaterin Condolezza Rice.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the… Weiterlesen

Element: WOMAN

Symbol: Wo

Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less) pounds

Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may

freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very

bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Possesses strong… Weiterlesen

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word „fuck“. It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, „fuck“ falls into… Weiterlesen

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level… Weiterlesen

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE

AGE DRINK

17 beer

25 beer

35 vodka

48 double vodka

66 Maalox

SEDUCTION LINE

17 My parents are away for the weekend.

25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.

35 My fiancee is… Weiterlesen

* Tell the widow that the deceased’s last wish was that she make love with you.

* Tell the undertaker that he can’t close the coffin until you find your contact lens.

* Punch the body and tell people that… Weiterlesen

We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. We’ve all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those… Weiterlesen

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When… Weiterlesen

* Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

* Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

* Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: „Shut up, dammit, all… Weiterlesen

Facetious and abstemious are the only words that contain all the vowels in the correct order.

„Adcomsubordcomphibspac“ is the longest acronym. It is a Navy term standing for Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command.

„Almost“ is the longest… Weiterlesen